Welcome!: A Simple Way to Fortify Your Husband and Your Marriage

Fireside Fridays - Conversations by the fire about nurturing home and family

Way back in the beginning of time, God created a man named Adam. Adam was alone in the world so God made a suitable helper for him – a woman named Eve.

The “helper” aspect of this arrangement has been a source of controversy and debate in many circles through the years. Today I want to share a different angle on the issue of being a helper to our husbands.

Through the years I’ve known husbands who have nobly “protected” their wives from crisis and difficulty. They don’t talk with their wives about issues they face with their employer, problems within their home church or community, and even trauma that affects family friends. I have heard wives admittedly say that they’re completely content (and prefer) to be kept oblivious to what’s going on. But is this what God meant when he created us as helpers for our husbands? Did he intend for men to walk through the hard places alone? I don’t think so.

An old photo of me helping my husband on a sailboat.
I think we're manning the jib? This is hard work. See his face?

Ladies, being a woman is an extraordinary privilege. We bring a lot to the table. We are experts at multi-tasking. We have an innate ability to nurture. We are smart, sensitive, relational, warm, and gracious. We have strong instincts and unique characteristics that benefit our marriages and the kingdom of God. We often bring a completely different perspective as well as the valuable discernment God has given us in our daily journey with him.

Women were made from Adam’s rib. A rib is strong. A rib protects the heart and other organs. A leader at a women’s conference I attended shared that women can protect the heart of a man, the heart of a child, and the heart of the family.

In addition, the word “helper” comes from a Hebrew word meaning “helper, staff, strength”. God is also referred to as a helper - helper of the nation of Israel and helper to individuals suffering hardship (Exodus 18:4; Deuteronomy 33:29; Hosea 13:9). In reference to God and women, the word “helper” comes from the same root word. We never infer that God is inferior to those he helps. Instead, we see strength of character. It should be the same with women.

Our husbands bear a lot of weight in their roles in our families. They need their wives, and they need what God has planted inside of us as women of God. Choosing to remain in ignorance and allowing our husbands to bear the weight of life's issues alone is not what it means to be a helpmate.

So here are some things you can do to be a helper to your husband.

1) Remember that trouble comes when there are two roosters in the barnyard! Don’t run in and try to take charge of things. A helper is not a competitor - and a competitor is not a help.

2) Ask your husband to begin making you aware of situations he’s facing. Let him know you're available and want to be there for him.

3) Prayerfully offer him your counsel, comfort, encouragement, love, respect, and assistance.

4) Bring it ladies! Complement him with your strengths.

5) Support him in the decisions he makes. (Okay - so I'll admit this one can be tough!)

Do these things and you will fortify your husband, your marriage, and your family. That’s what we’re about here at The Warming House on Fireside Fridays.